What are the ground rules in the chat rooms?
They are the same as for face-to-face LifeRing meetings.  The main purpose of the meetings is to help one another remain abstinent from alcohol and drugs.  The atmosphere is secular; your religion/spirituality or lack thereof remains private and rarely comes up.  We help one another build a tailor-made recovery program that works for the individual.  The atmosphere is positive, supportive, and non-confrontational.

Are there no-nos in the chat rooms?
Yes.  Advocacy of drinking or drug use will get you flamed and eventually kicked out.  Religious proselytizing or "witnessing," the same.  Rudeness, personal attacks, racism, sexually offensive remarks and similar conduct will make you unwelcome and can get you booted. 

Please be advised that promoting, proposing or declaring intentions to commit felonies including but not limited to: sedition, treason, capital murder, terrorist acts, or most capital crimes may face investigation and prosecution from appropriate authorities. Don't joke about this stuff, folks.  It isn't remotely funny, anymore than joking about bombs in the secure areas of airports is funny.

Can I send a private message (IM) to someone in the room?
Yes. Click on the name of the person, and select "Private."  A window will open.

Can I ignore someone who is making me uncomfortable?
Yes.  Click on their name and select "Ignore."

Is there a moderator present?
During scheduled online meetings the convenor (chat host) can act as moderator and can, if necessary, boot people out.   At other times, no moderator is ordinarily present.  If you notice offensive activity in an online meeting room during unscheduled hours, please contact the Chat Coordinators.

Can I and my friends meet in the chat room when there's no scheduled meeting?

Yes.  Just be sure to pick up after yourself and rearrange the chairs the way you found them.

I got in but there was nobody else there
Invite somebody to come to the chat room with you.  If this happened during a scheduled online meeting, send an email to the scheduled chat host or to the Chat Coordinators.  Help out: Volunteer as a chat host for the open time slot.

What do the abbreviations mean?
Here is some common chat shorthand:

• ty = thank you
• yw = you're welcome
• brb = be right back
• lol = laughing out loud
• rofl = rolling on floor laughing (+ mao = my ass off)
• imho = in my humble opinion

Q:  Somebody in chat asked me about my religious faith (or my Higher Power etc.), and when I told them, they got mad at me.

A:  LifeRing chat is a secular place, which means that your religious beliefs (or your Higher Power etc.) are off topic.  Whoever asked you about the issue was out of bounds. One way to respond is to ignore the question and talk about something else.  If the person insists, you can say, for example: "My religious beliefs or disbeliefs are my private business. If I want to talk about my theology, I can go to other web sites. I'm here to talk about ways and means of living sober. Your support is appreciated." 

Q:  Somebody in chat said how successful they felt in their recovery because they were settling into a pattern of just drinking once a week (or just socially, or just a few now and then, etc.).  I didn't know what to think.

A:  LifeRing chat is an abstinence-based place, which means that our aim is zero consumption.  "Don't' Drink Or Use No Matter What" is a LifeRing slogan. A person who drinks once a week, or just socially, or just a few now and then (etc.) is a person who is experiencing frequent relapses, and this is not something to celebrate.  If the person genuinely feels that their current drinking pattern is what they want to keep doing, then they need to go to a different kind of support group, one that supports moderation management or controlled drinking. LifeRing does not support moderation or controlled drinking approaches. If the person puts up an argument why they should be allowed to keep participating in LifeRing chat, notify the Chat Coordinator (the link is below the chat window). 

Q:  I've run into some people who are in chat almost 24 hours a day and they seem to feel they own the place, and when I came in they made me feel like I was some kind of second class citizen.

A:  If people are really in the chat room almost 24 hours a day, it may be that they're disabled and have mobility problems, or it may be a sign that they have no other life.  In either case, that doesn't give them the right to put newcomers down or to pose as some kind of authority figure.  LifeRing meetings generally -- and this certainly includes the chat room -- work their 'magic' through the power of positive reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement is what helps people change.  Putdowns only breed resentment and resistance.  People who are genuine LifeRing chat veterans, and who have the knowledge and skills to act as chat room hosts, know this and act accordingly. LifeRing chat old-timers are some of the most understanding, positive, and supportive people for your sobriety that you will ever meet. 

Submit your items for Advanced Chat Etiquette