Keepers
The Night of the Living Dead
By Jeff J.
I went to an AA meeting last night and
was thoroughly bored to death. I sat and let my eye wander around the room and
this is what I saw. I saw two older men dressed like youngsters, one who had to
be pushing 60 but had an earring and was wearing flip flop shoes. I guess he
thought he was looking real beachy. They both caught my eye because they were
not paying attention to the meeting either; then I noticed that they both had
real bad rugs on. Poor things were out trying to get some I guess. I saw three
other people nodding off, and I saw a lesbian couple who were making eyes at
each other. Most of the people just were sitting there with blank looks on their
faces smoking one cigarette after another and sipping coffee. I tried real hard
to understand and identify with what the topic was but I really couldn't tell
you what the topic was.
About half way through the meeting I
noticed a friend who was just as bored as I was and it occurred to me that this
meeting was like the night of the living dead. Whatever it was they were talking
about didn't have anything to do with anything real. It was one of those
meetings were the leader chooses his buds to expound on a topic so vague that
they end up rambling on about nothing. I
would have liked to raise my hand and tell them that I hadn't had a thought to
drink in a while but after attending that meeting, oblivion seemed like a viable
option. But instead I sat like everybody else and waited, waited until the end
so I could talk about what was really going on with me with a real friend that
knew me.
It occurred to me that those meetings
were nothing more than a medium for egomaniacs to postulate their interpretation
of "the program" in front of other egomaniacs who sit and prepare their
speech in silence. It is very sick.
Suddenly I realized what an AA meeting
or an SOS meeting or any other "meeting" was for. YOU GO TO SOBRIETY
MEETINGS TO MEET SOBER PEOPLE. Wow what a concept. So if you go to a meeting and
sit in the back row and smoke ten cigarettes and think about what you're going
to have for dinner after the meeting, you've missed the whole point and purpose
of the meeting. I believe that a vital part of my sobriety is the people I meet
at the meetings and who become good friends. I can't stay sober in this drunken
world without sober friends. I have tried. I need other people with the same
problem to talk to and to share my most intimate thoughts with. So from now on I
am going to make it a point to really meet people at my meetings -- AA, or SOS
-- and not just sit like everybody else and stare.
Posted 4/17/99
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