<Perhaps if I get some stories I can relate to it might help put an end to this confusion I have towards moderation. – T.>

If you take my post as a testimonial to the merits of "trying" it again please don't do it. Not worth the trouble. In my sober attempts over the past 3 or so years I've "made it" 6, 8, 2, 4 months respectively. Toss in a grouping of a few weeks and/or days now and then. Each time guess what? The pain is the same. The shame is the same. The disgust and self-loathing is the same. The only difference from episode to episode is the price increases -- meaning both retail prices and personal prices. Each time just a bit more of the esteem goes, a scosh more cognitive brain power, a huge physical price tag.

The mind is a very, very, strange beast indeed. It will tell me just what it is telling you, that you can do it. News flash to me ... no I can't and I would only speculate -- but you can't either. Moderation? Well, I can tell you from my experience that it does not work. I most likely (given past history) may once again make that foolish decision. I hope not. Christ I hope not.