Craig Whalley, delegate of LSRMail

(1)

The 2004 LSR Congress took place without a noticeable hitch this past weekend in Berkeley, CA. Delegates were present from three continents, representing groups in four countries. There was an opening reception on Friday night, "breakout" sessions Saturday morning, a major presentation by William White (author of "Slaying the Dragon: the History of Addiction Treatment and Recovery in America") Saturday afternoon, a banquet with live entertainment Saturday evening and the official delegates meeting on Sunday morning.

I want to give the full flavor of the gathering in the hope that it will entice others to attend future Congresses, so bear with what will be a lengthy report, even by my long-winded standards (although it will be nowhere near the epic length of my report on the 2002 Congress).

The shuttle to Seattle/Tacoma airport picked me up at my apartment at about 6 a.m. for a noon flight to Oakland the day before the Congress. The airport is 100 miles or more from my home and there is no longer any air service from Port Angeles to SeaTac, so a shuttle seemed the best option, even though it meant a very long trip. Aside from too much sitting (and too much John Grisham), the trip was uneventful and I arrived at Oakland's airport around 2 p.m. and took the BART to within a block of my hotel. Within minutes, I had hooked up with Jane, and then Jack, who were staying at the same hotel, and soon thereafter we were joined by Laura, Karen ("Shipmate"), Rebecca, Marie and Mike ("Sage"). Many of us, of course, had never met one another. We went for a long walk around downtown Berkeley, which is tucked up against the University of California campus, and then had an enjoyable (and cheap) dinner of Indian food.

At this and every other informal gathering of LSRians, the talk was amazingly effortless and non-stop. For me, and I think for many others, the sharing that occurs on LSRmail and the chats (and I'm sure in f2f groups as well) eliminates almost all need for the "getting to know you" stuff. There's a common bond stemming from our shared condition, and an established intimacy proceeding from the support group process. This is true even between people who may barely remember who's who and who said what on the list.

Especially for those, like me, who became isolated during their heavy drinking years, this easy intimacy is very powerful. Suddenly I'm surrounded by people who know -- and fully understand -- my worst secret, and despite that, or because of that, they accept me completely.

On Friday morning several of us rode the BART train into San Francisco and acted like tourists, just like normal people do. We rode the cable cars, visited Chinatown, ate dim sum, trudged up and down steep hills and walked along the waterfront. And we talked and talked and talked.

That evening the first official event occurred -- a reception where delegates and guests could meet. Before hand, a few of us went to dinner (Afghan food, this time), which was dumb since the food at the reception -- provided by Bay area members, I believe -- was excellent and plentiful. .

Even with more than two years of sobriety, and two previous Congresses, under my belt, I found myself somewhat overwhelmed by being in a room filled with my comrades. There was CA from Japan, Marty and Gillian and Chet and Bill from the Bay area, and LSRmail folks I knew only by name and conveners from all over that I didn't know at all. I felt myself being a little stiff, not from fear but rather from the need to keep powerful emotions in check. These people, to me, are like a large family -- more so than my real family, who don't know, or don't understand, what my addiction has meant for me. LSR is the place where, if I have to go there, they have to take me.

There was more talk, of course, as a small ensemble played delightful music and the food was enjoyed. The reception was in a hospital meeting room and a regular LSR meeting was held in a smaller room next door. Many of the people at the reception sat in on that meeting, and I had planned to, but I couldn't tear myself away from Marjorie and Syl and Andrea and the others. Well, maybe the food had something to do with it, too.

(2)

All the events of the Congress (except the Saturday night banquet) took place at a hospital meeting room within walking distance of the hotels most of the out-of-towners were staying in. Those who weren't in hotels stayed either with personal friends or with local LSR members. Things certainly weren't as cozy as they were last year in Florida, where everyone was in the same place all the time, but for me, at least, there was a wonderful sense of being pretty totally immersed in the company of those I came to see.

The Saturday morning groups I attended dealt with starting new LSR meetings, followed by one on the problems of running a group. These discussions were very well attended. The information and views offered were encouraging and helpful, but there wasn't enough time for the sort of detail that I was hoping for. I think there was a general consensus that more time should be allotted to these subjects next year. The LSR Service Center offers a monthly program for training new conveners -- I think it would be a fine idea to integrate that into the Congress offerings.

It was interesting to see the large differences in approach to creating and running meetings that were offered by those who led the discussion. This is very typical of LSR, of course. Clearly, there is no one template for what works in starting and maintaining a group. In the Bay area most of the groups, I think, are held in association with treatment centers. That is, after all, where you'll find a lot of potential members. Getting the treatment centers there to cooperate with LSR has been a huge challenge, but resistance is steadily fading as LSR's reputation grows. It's a tough slog, though, overcoming the bias towards AA.

[Brief digression: some of us (well, me) want to start groups independent of the "addiction professionals," but then there's the problem of how to reach potential members, both to start the group and to sustain it over time. There's a huge infrastructure for directing addicts to 12-step groups and that system is closed to us until we have "legitimacy," which will come to us only if we convince the treatment industry that we're "worthy," which means going the route that the Bay area LSRians have taken.]

After a lunch break, we came together for the keynote address by William White. His four hour presentation was totally engrossing, covering the history of addiction in this country from before the white man arrived (some native tribes did have alcohol and others had hallucinogenic plants -- none seemed to have any problems with addiction) to the present day, when are "modern" approaches to addiction seem no more successful than the quackery of 100 years ago.

White did end on an optimistic note, predicting we as a culture are on the verge of a major shift in thinking about alcohol, drugs and addiction. If I understood him correctly (not a certainty), he thinks the changing attitudes towards smoking may be a precursor of a similar change in societal attitudes towards drugs and alcohol.

The room was packed for White's presentation, with 100 or more people present, including LSRians along with interested Bay area treatment professionals of various sorts.

After the presentation, it was back to the hotel for a brief (and much needed) rest and then a drive, with Itchy at the wheel of a rental car, to a fancy restaurant with a great view of the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate. The food was splendid and the music wonderful. Chet did a couple of solo numbers on his guitar and then a Blues combo took over. There was dancing! I did my "fake-it shuffle" with Jane, CA and Gillian. Marty danced with everyone he could talk into it. Chet fairly beamed with contentment as he and his new sweetie partied.

Of course, there was more talking at dinner. Talking about sobriety, about life, about other members (heehee). For many people, even here, this sort of relaxed socializing is unremarkable -- they have it as a matter of course with friends and family. But for some of us, it is something we rarely (or never) experience in any other context, at least with the relative ease that was apparent that night.

(3)

On Sunday morning, the 30 or so delegates met for the official work of the Congress. Each one was asked to give a report from the group they represent. With so many people scheduled to speak, there was far too little time for detailed reports or much real discussion. I had prepared a scintillating three page over-view of the current situation at LSRmail, but I quickly realized that a 5 or 6 minute report wasn't going to fly. So I made a few quick remarks and promised to post my report, which I'll do in the files section of LSRmail.

I was very pleased by the general tone of the delegates' remarks. LSR is still small and still struggling to reach a critical mass, but many of the f2f groups in the Bay area are at least stable, and some are crowded enough so that they've had to split into two groups. New meetings are forming there, and it has become difficult to find conveners. There are vibrant pockets of growth in Ontario, British Columbia and Western Australia. There are healthy groups in Colorado and upstate New York, and prospective new ones "under construction" in Virginia, Washington State and elsewhere.

Problems mentioned include trouble-makers at on-line chats, well-established groups who aren't getting new members but are losing those who move on, and dealing with people who come to meetings drunk.

I brought up one of my pet issues, which is providing a "kinder, gentler" email list for the shy and fragile. There was some support for the idea, and no opposition.

Marty, CEO of LSR, passed out his report on behalf of the board, and it is, I believe, posted at unhooked.com. Other reports on people's experiences at the Congress will be posted there too, I think.

After the reports, there were two matters for the group to deal with. First was a by-law amendment enabling the Board to issue a country-wide (or province-wide) charter to independent LSR entities outside the United States. This was basically a housekeeping change having to do with the nature of non-profit group taxation in some countries. Ben, who helped write the LSR by-laws, has raised some concerns since the Congress about unforeseen consequences of the change, but given it's utterly non-controversial intent, I feel sure it can be easily massaged into shape next year without a problem, if that's necessary.

Then there was the election for three seats on the LSR Board of Directors. Marty and Jackie both decided to run for re-election, but Paula opted not to, so there were three seats open and two candidates. Following in the intrepid footsteps of last year's LSRmail delegate, Richard, I decided to run for the Board. Unlike Richard, I managed to run when there was no one else who wanted the job, so I was swept into office.

That wound up the work of the Congress and we adjourned. The Board then met for its only f2f meeting of the year. Two Board members were absent -- Diane was too sick to fly and didn't come to the Congress, and Jackie had to catch a flight back to D.C. The main item for discussion, besides assessing how the Congress had gone, was to pick the site for the 2005 event.

Sadly, it appears it will be necessary to break with the tradition which calls for alternate Congresses to be held in Florida. The Florida LSR groups, which have undertaken the chore of planning and hosting the Congress, don't have the membership they used to have and many of their hardest workers have been very busy with this thing called "life."

The Congress could go back to Berkeley, but the Board decided to leave it open for discussion until an April 25th on-line Board meeting. You're all invited.

There was a discussion of the nature of the Congress, whether it should be primarily educational with speakers, workshops and outreach to non-LSR service providers, or more of a retreat format, which is far more informal and inwardly directed. Berkeley Congresses have been the former, while Florida Congresses have been the latter. I think it's fair to say that those of us using LSRmail and other internet-based groups would prefer the retreat format, where we get much-needed face-to-face contact with one another. I'll be pushing for that, although the two formats aren't mutually exclusive -- retreats could be planned apart from the Congress.

By 2 p.m. on Sunday all the official stuff was over. Those who were hanging around the Bay area for awhile were invited to Gillian's place for dinner that night, but I was just too tired to make it. Sleep has proved elusive at every LSR Congress I've attended.

On Monday, Marty had a few of the stragglers over for dinner, including Jill from Australia, Karen (shipmate), Laura, me, Jane, Marie, CA, Syl and Gillian. Eight women and two men seemed about right to Marty and me, although Marty's son Jack helped keep us in line while we devoured a first-rate dinner prepared by our host.

I remember very well writing a report on the 2002 Congress on the way home from it, just as I wrote this one. Back then I was six months sober and totally overwhelmed by confusing emotions aroused by that event. For two weeks afterwards, I was hyper and that was followed by a depressing let-down that also lasted a couple of weeks. Two more years of sobriety, and two more years of LSR, have made me a far different person than I was then. The differences may not be obvious to others, but to me they are profound. Basically, I'm just stronger in ways that are hard to describe. I came home this time feeling as though I'd had a great vacation. I still have much ground to cover; the process is still agonizingly slow, the final destination is still unclear, but the realization is quietly settling in that I'm getting healthy. It's a hell of a good feeling.

This concludes my report on the 2004 LSR Congress. Please let me know if you have any questions. I'm very grateful to have been a delegate. Thank you.

It was so super to meet such great folks at the LifeRing Congress. I was amazed, and delighted, to meet so many people who had made email friends and were meeting in person for the first time. although I live in the Bay Area and have more access to meetings that most folks, still I have to make a half hour trip to a LifeRing meeting. Sometimes I go to the readily available meetings of that other program because one is always available. But I realized I can be in contact with you, the folks of MY favorite sobriety group, all the time. So thanks for inspiring me. I felt really charged up after the congress. I mean, who knew such great folks were out there!

Just a quick note to express my delight to participate in the LifeRing Congress this weekend and to offer a special thanks for your warm hospitality during my visit. I left even more confirmed that LSR is the "real thing." I particularly enjoyed the opportunity to interact with so many of the local LSR leaders. I learned a lot. [...]  With warmest regards and appreciation.

Subject: An Emotional Congress

Hiya Sober Folks,

Just thought I'd check in for a notation on the trip to congress just past. I can't say enough about what the experience meant to me. Although, monetarily, I really couldn't afford to go - emotionally, I felt it was something that I needed to do that would benefit me greatly. I was right about that. It was such a gift to be able to put faces to the "icons" on the computer screen with some of the people that played such an important role in my life over the past few months. Spending quality "people-time" together was well worth the trip, not to mention strengthening a strong bond of friendship with my LSR hostess. For almost a week, we spent a lot of inseparable time getting to really know each other and our individual situations. There was never a "lull" in the conversation - needless to say, between us yakking and the congress activities and the time spent meeting up with other LSR's it was a jammed packed worthwhile vacation. Oh, and just for the record ..... let it be noted .... the shipmate did have to go on a "cruise" in San Francisco Bay while out there - actually, two of them. Ha!

Well, I can't remember when I last had any fun or laughter in my life, but last week was definitely one for the record books. It gave me a new outlook and perspective on my sober self, whether in physical or emotional pain. Although there were some bouts with the physical while out there, I was able to keep it "in check". It was nice being around Laura's 5 year old little boy, too. He gives great hugs and still likes to hold hands with mommy and her friends while out sight-seeing. He got two mommies for the price of one while I was there - It helped me to not miss my two sweethearts as much while out there.   [...]

It was a very useful trip, and good to meet so many kind, interesting people - all with the same goal. I recommend the exercise to any LSR'ian able to attend next year's meeting.
 

As the delegate from the Tuesday afternoon chat to Congress 2004, I want to thank everyone for participating in chats, face to face meetings, and the email list. LifeRing is a success because of your participation in assisting others with personally meaningful recovery.

Online chat serves many members who don't have meetings in their area, are unable to attend meetings or want full anonymity for their recovery. Chats have continued to grow in participation and see many new active group members join us each month. It was personally very gratifying for me to match faces and personalities with the names from the chatters that are my daily "group."

I was very impressed by the enthusiastic turnout at Congress 2004, and excited by all the new people interested in starting meetings. I was reflecting how last year we worked to get wider representation and I was happy to see that become reality.

I was pleased at the big strides that have been made in presenting LifeRing to treatment centers, as well as the completion of many publications that explain what we do. Everyone who has worked hard to legitimize LifeRing and put us "on the map" deserves a big thank you.

Most importantly it was very energizing and affirming to be among people so positive in their recovery and ready to share it with others. I look forward to continuing to be a part of this dedicated group as we work to pass the word to others looking for alternatives in recovery.